How often have we heard things like – “when you’re angry just take a few deep breaths”  or “count to 10” ;  “walk outside and touch a tree”?  It is one thing to tell someone these techniques, or to hear them & say “Oh yes, I know – I should”.  Yet to apply these tools, to really practice them, so that we can stop being victims (subconscious or even conscious beliefs of “poor me”;  “it’s not fair” ;  “why does this happen to me?” etc) is another story!

I would like to share with you, and encourage you to make the changes, step by step, to

live the life you really want by applying certain tools & techniques.

Many of us go to workshops, read positive books for self-help, parenting, meditation etc, but to have a mind filled with knowledge not to apply that knowledge will not bring wisdom.

This includes myself – as a mother of 3, finding it difficult to bring balance & harmony into my

life, and daily calling upon Divine Spirit/God and/or the Angels to “help me feel peace”;

or “help me understand my children” or “help me be organised” – I found myself feeling

resentful towards the Angels because “they weren’t helping me!” (There’s’ the “poor me,

it’s not fair” programme!).  Then, one day, I ‘got it’. 

The Angels & Spirit ARE there to help me – but, ultimately, I have to help myself! 

The guidance I have been given over the years : to attend workshops, read fantastic books,

learn tools like muscle testing (kinesiology); yoga & breathing techniques; meditation

techniques and the list goes on, have all been help, as I see it, from the Divine Intelligence.  However, the real test is how much have I learnt and how well do I apply it when I need it? 

If life is going smoothly, peacefully, harmoniously, we just stay in that flow – no real need to

use the tools to bring us back into balance, for we are already that!  So, if life is chaotic,

stressful, too hard, unbalanced – what do we do?  Keep crying “it’s not fair”? 

Or help ourselves, step by step and change our programming & beliefs to that of

“I can do this” or “I am willing to change right now to make my life better”. 

My husband gave me a great analogy one day – when I was at the end of my tether & crying

to him “why does this keep happening?  I have read so much, I know so much, so why do I

keep experiencing these triggers towards our children?!!”  He replied “It is just like being at school.  Why do we have tests at the end of the term?  To see how well we know & can apply

what we’ve learnt all term.  Life is like that.  We can read, think about & know all we want

– but life will always give us little tests, just to see if we are applying what we’ve learned.” 

And that’s all I needed to hear.  Of course! When we can use positive techniques in any given situation, the situation either doesn’t happen anymore, or just doesn’t phase us to the point of stress, anxiety, anger etc anymore.  We can remain neutral.  As you’ve probably heard before

– it’s not about the ‘problem’ it’s about the way we handle the (perceived) problem.

My encouraging message to you all, is, find 1 or 2 techniques and just stick to them, practice,

build up a positive habit, remind yourself & make yourself snap out of the old programme and action the new.  The more you do it, you’ll start changing your life for the better.  First, you

may only remember once a week, then 3 times, then it will be once a day, until it builds up to

twice, then soon you’ll be so mindful, you will automatically switch in (which is actually tuning

into your guidance) with every situation that arises.

Now, the biggest, helpful technique, which is mentioned in every self-help book is be here

now.  Stay present.  Connect to your breathing, let go of judgment of yourself, the other

person, the situation and experience the feeling in your body.  Find a word to breathe in – like peace, calm, guidance, Angels, God, Om, relax – what ever comes to you.  Then breathe out

the feeling you’re experiencing.  I don’t always find it necessary to use a word (anger,

frustration, anxiety etc – that can be judging your emotion.  Now you’ve read this you need

to do it – if you want to make the positive changes in your life.  Ask someone, a partner,

friend even your child to remind you to do it when a ‘situation’ arises. 

This is where the Angels & god help!  They can remind you to practice & apply your tools.

Another helpful one, and there are thousands, but this is one I find very helpful – is when the

kids are going crazy, your head is filled with negative stories, your body is filled with anxiety, stress, anger, hopelessness etc, STOP and literally UNPLUG yourself – pull out the imaginary cord – anywhere you feel it, like the head, or tummy – unplug from the chaos/stress. 

Then breathe – and PLUG yourself into Spirit, or love or peace whatever works for you. 

See a gold cord, or silver, or maybe you might need pink today – but plug it in to where you

need to – your heart  maybe, or the crown of your head – or maybe your feet. 

The best thing is – if your kids & partner, even friends, see you doing this (they won’t think

you’re crazy) they will see you are walking your talk – practicing your techniques –

applying your knowledge – and ultimately changing your self & your world to a higher, better level.  You become the role model (we are anyway, whether we like it or not) and your children, partner & friends may even try it for themselves when they are in stressful situations –

and then they become better, happier, more balanced people.

This is what brings peace to the world!  This is how we contribute as an individual human being, on a global scale.

©Tara Yewdall

Read Part 2 of ‘Mothers Tool Box’ in our April/June Newsletter

Tara Yewdall